Dogs

Well I froze up over the weekend.

For the last 13-14 years I have been living life with german shepherds. Raising 2 of them and living with them as adolescent dogs was anything but easy. They actually are an enormous amount of work and a huge emotional investment. My 1st shepherd died at 13yrs on Oct 6th, 2007. As my 2nd german shepherd approaches 14, her eyes become more and more tired as the days go by. I am silently panicking a bit. Losing both dogs-I knew the day would come, but I've always been afraid to face it. This is the end of one of my own personal eras in life. When I rescued them my life was completely different. That part of my life is now forever gone and can never be replaced. I had the opportunity to rescue a beautiful all black shepherd this weekend-I froze up and let someone else adopt him. It wasn't what I really wanted to do and I feel sad about it. A beautiful wolf mix I had applied for weeks ago became available also, and I wanted him pretty badly too, but I'm frozen. Maybe I need a break from dogs, but I don't feel it's for the right reasons. I feel I am just allowing myself to become lazy and unattached to anything.

For that there are no rewards.