Here today, gone tomorrow.

The downward spiral. Some say it never ends. Others would say it's all a state of mind. I don't have much of either to say really. There is a point where your just numb with discontent. No pills, no amount of alcohol or any other drug can fill that hole. You just end up having to stop and reckon with it. It's there. No making things up. Just take a good long hard look. You can move, or sit still; stay idle or run as fast as you can - either way it's not going anywhere.

But how to make THAT thing of an emptiness go away. People come and go, it hurts. Can't shut the world out. Keeping a happy go lucky disposition and being able to walk chin up without forcing it sure would sit nice. I try to feel up, but I'm tired.

When an energetic, young stranger grabs your attention by saying "excuse me sir, I'm sorry for bothering you but you look really sad..." - it becomes a daily challenge to leave home. I always thought I hid it pretty damn good since nobody ever said anything. Until now.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Pelican Bar

Taxi


Jamaica...mon! The trip was so uninteresting I don't even have much to say or pictures to show. Constant solicitation for drugs, sex, whatever you want multiple fools out on the beach just don't know when to take no for an answer. I literally saw tourists running at times, tired of the constant barrage of beach combing...um, business being shoved in their face. If you said no, some of them literally would act like they're having a break down. I felt stupid for being there. I feel stupid for going. But, there were some good things I can keep with me as a positive memory. Go up into the mountains and experience the real Rastafari peoples of Jamaica. Find some locals to take you. It's an experience. Not all relaxing. But cultural and edgy.

I want to mention one place: Roaring River - Blue Hole. The cave was amazing, no tourists, swim in and drink from the mineral waters. Jump into the caves natural pool that contains mineral water so clear you can see straight through to the bottom and off to the side where you realize it steers off into the black abyss of an underwater cave.