The downward spiral. Some say it never ends. Others would say it's all a state of mind. I don't have much of either to say really. There is a point where your just numb with discontent. No pills, no amount of alcohol or any other drug can fill that hole. You just end up having to stop and reckon with it. It's there. No making things up. Just take a good long hard look. You can move, or sit still; stay idle or run as fast as you can - either way it's not going anywhere.
But how to make THAT thing of an emptiness go away. People come and go, it hurts. Can't shut the world out. Keeping a happy go lucky disposition and being able to walk chin up without forcing it sure would sit nice. I try to feel up, but I'm tired.
When an energetic, young stranger grabs your attention by saying "excuse me sir, I'm sorry for bothering you but you look really sad..." - it becomes a daily challenge to leave home. I always thought I hid it pretty damn good since nobody ever said anything. Until now.
When an energetic, young stranger grabs your attention by saying "excuse me sir, I'm sorry for bothering you but you look really sad..." - it becomes a daily challenge to leave home. I always thought I hid it pretty damn good since nobody ever said anything. Until now.
1 comment:
I hear that. Funny thing really when 'friends' abandon you for feeling that way; telling you to 'suck it up' and 'it's not bad' etc. :/ Cancer left a dark mark that can't be washed away. You just learn to live in a different Universe.
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